Friday 7 December

Work ‘Christmas Merry’ at the Jawed Rabbit hails a record low attendance – the workers are counting their pennies, the mill owners their pounds. I buy some cheap grog from Percy’s infamous upstairs cellar and host some of the crew at the ‘flat’. A choice of Stout or Starjuice at the pub and I foolishly choose the latter. DH and I mime a game of cricket on the dance rug while Miss Kooks tells me I should get into something called ‘marketing’. I tell her that I simply must marry her – a juicy proposal turned down stoutly; I’m left seeing stars from the gutter.