Wednesday 16 January

Worldwidewotsit finally installed in the flat, albeit at great expense (124.99 shillings connection fee with a further 172 shillings, later rescinded, a hidden charge for daring to switch between ‘options’). I conclude that the newly formed British Telecom should be stripped first of its ‘British’ (with its promise of island fortitude, lions etc) quickly followed by its ‘Telecom’ (with its promise of efficiency, communication and understanding). The nameless organisation could then slink off into the shadows clutching its accursed bounty, much formed as it is from deceiving the old and vulnerable; banished to be replaced by a greatly more human party. I look up lithographs of people’s cats dressed up as nurses, ballerinas, cricketers etc until the early hours.