Friday 28 March

As uncertainty continues in the workplace, and wider economy, difficult choices beg to be made. While I have traded much of my cotton for coal, the question remains as to where to store it all. Simply pile it on the floor, mapping out sequences of islands, mountains and volcanoes, you may quite reasonably suggest. But of course many guests calling at the flat are highly-strung merchants who have long stuck with the white stuff, only to find it all suddenly unraveling. Not wishing to threaten such friendships I have commissioned a series of doilies to cover the majority of my slag heaps – all made from the finest cotton, naturally. Having touchingly placed them around the place, it breaks my heart to hear Miss Jordan, huffing and puffing outside with the coal man, ably assisting with his next delivery.

For some of us, concerns are altogether lighter, if no less thrilling and dangerous. Spike endures his last day at the office before embarking on a full-time writering career. A good showing at Stranger bar and talk of his pilot project, to run alongside our Hatbox adventure: a new version of the Manchester-based puppet show Blameless, but with vampires. If anyone can do it, he can. And if anyone is likely to pilfer his ideas, that’s me, I jokingly aside.